I have never sweat so much in my life, but let me tell you, it was worth every drop. 

Cambodia is a sweet place! My team spent the month in a village in Siem Reap, home to the famous Angkor Wat, where we worked at a YWAM's University of the Nations school teaching English and computers. In the mornings we would ride our bicycles to a home in the village and either teach English or have VBS with younger children. Then teach two classes in the afternoons to older students back at the school. One class was of 10-15 year olds and the other was of 13-16 year olds. I loved my students, especially the older ones! They were really good at English, so I could really get to know them and it also made it so much more fun to teach. Every Wednesday was "Christian Values Day," where we would put aside our curriculum and just talk about Jesus with the students. Definitely my favorite day as it was so sweet to be able to share my heart with these kids and to talk about what I'm passionate about- Jesus and His love. I loved getting to pour into them what the Lord has so graciously and generously poured into me. 

Teaching in the village with Rachel

My older English class. Love them!! They are ridiculous and awesome!

And the YWAM staff here are amazing! Love them! Their hearts are beautiful as they truly love and care for these children. They're also hilarious. Some of my favorite times this month were mealtimes, where we would all come together after a busy day and break bread. Joking and laughing as we stuffed our faces with delicious food (oh man it was so good!). It just felt so right. It felt like family. And I think thats how its supposed to be isnt it? 

Roselette and Nary, the women on staff here. Such beautiful hearts!

Loved living in the village. The humidity is ridiculous but the beauty of this place is spectacular. Every day so full of gifts from the Lord to be savored. Children's smiles. Riding bikes through the village. Hanging out with the students. Frog hunting with headlamps and slingshots. Delicious mangoes. Time alone to worship my Father. 

Hanging out!

And this month the Lord poured so much into me about the beauty of grace. How it awakens us to a deeper richness of life as you're able to see everything as a gift. Every moment full of beauty to be discovered. To revel in the love of Jesus that permeates every single thing on this earth. For Christ is all and in all. And in Christ is the fullness of life. So grace allows us to experience the fullness of life. There is so much more to behold in life, even in the smallest things, that speak volumes of the Father's love and His presence in every moment of our lives. And its only made each day so much more beautiful as I fall more in love with Jesus. 

A heart fully in love is one fully in grace. One fully in grace is a heart fully alive. 

Srea Mao (left) is my best friend who gives the best bear hugs ever. Love her!

Blessed. Thats the word best describing my month 9 in Penang, Malaysia. 

Blessed to live on an beautiful island full of such character and culture. 

Blessed with sweet accommodations including a kitchen, air conditioning, and not showers. 

Blessed with delicious home-cooked meals by the ridiculously talented Katie and Frank.

Blessed to be able to work with Kawan, an incredible drop-in center for the homeless and overflowing with the love of Jesus. 

Blessed with incredible contacts with such beautiful hearts and inspiring passion. 

Blessed to be doors down from PenHOP, a house of prayer where you can just rest and worship in the Presence of the Lord. 

Blessed by a sweet friendship with an amazing, Spirit-filled woman who poured so much love and life into my soul. 

All in all, my time in Malaysia was such a sweet gift from the Lord. Getting to spend time with the homeless, listening to their stories as you could feel the Father's crazy love for them, was probably one of my favorite times on the Race. I would join their Bible study and such a sacred gathering that was. These old men are so precious. Their faith childlike. Their hearts so pure even though the world has dealt them an unfair hand. And then spending the evenings at PenHOP, praying and worshipping my Savior, soaking in His Presence as His Spirit tended to the depths of my soul. Such beautiful times where I could just sit and let the Lord lavish His love on me. 

Oh how the Lord knew I needed this month. And I am so very thankful. 

And now I'm in Cambodia! Woot woot! Updates to come! Hope you all are well!! 

Chiang Mai, Thailand stole my heart. And I'm completely okay with that. 

Such a sweet month. My heart came alive in ways it never had before. Breaking for these men and women in the bars as His love flowed through the cracks. Trusting the light of the Kingdom inside me was stronger than the darkness I was entering into, fighting for three freedom and healing of these people so desperate for love but looking in all the wrong places. 

And I got to know some of the women who work in the bars. To me they're not prostitutes, they're my friends. They're not statistics or objects, they are human beings. They are mothers, daughters, aunts, nieces, and cousins. They are people with hopes and dreams, and in many cases it were those hopes and dreams that were taken advantage of that led them here. 

My heart ached for them. 

Because I saw behind the make-up and scandalous clothing. I saw daughters made in the image of their King, broken and abused yet so full of life and joy. It didnt make sense except for the fact that Father is relentlessly pursuing His children as He unleashes His Kingdom in their midst. They may not see it yet, or even be aware of it, but its happening. I saw it. Love was invading their hearts as we tried to pour out as much from ours as possible. We fought and prayed for these women with all we had. 

And He was faithful. Oh was He faithful. 

Business slowed. Fewer customers were coming. I got to take some of my friends out of the bars for the night, paying their bar fee so they could have a fun night like any other 20-year old who didnt have to sell herself every night in order to support her family. And that night was one of my favorite of the Race. Because let me tell you, it is such a privilege to know and love these people. The women. The children. The ladyboys. Even the men who come into the bars longing for attention. Because Jesus loves them. And they are worthy to be loved. They deserve to be loved for who they truly are, not for what they can do. 

My sweet friends from Kitty Cat Bar! Love them like crazy! 

The truth is, these friends of mine have blessed my life in more ways than I ever expected. Pouring so much beauty and joy into my spirit by being able to share life with them. Laughing with them. Playing pool with them. Talking with them. Pouring out every ounce of love I had to give. Fighting for them to experience the freedom He created them for. 

And I will continue fighting for them, because our God is a God who fights for us. And He never stops fighting for us as we walk in the fragrance of His victory sealed on the Calvary road. So as His people, we will fight alongside Him for the ones He loves. 

So I've been trying to get myself to blog for the past week and a half. I promise. But for some reason I'm having the hardest time. I mean, it took me like 30 minutes to come up with a title and its not even that good! Good grief! And its not like there's nothing to share. I think my mind and my heart are caught up in other things. Beautiful things. Heavenly things. Floating in the endless ocean that is the Father's love. My Spirit being awakened with a fresh breath of His Presence that restores and rejuvenates me like nothing else, leaving me hungry for more. Soaking. Savoring. Abiding. Reveling in the simple yet life-changing truth that I am my Beloved's and His desire is for me. I can so easily get caught up in other things. Ministry. Leading. Trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing with my life once I get back home. And not to say those are bad things, but sometimes even the good things can distract us from the necessary things. Like resting and abiding  in the sweet love my Daddy has for me. Because when it comes down to it, His love is the most important thing to me. It is who I am. The fiber of my being. Without it I am nothing and I can do nothing. Yet from it I can be who He is calling me to be, and do what He's calling me to do. His love is the foundation of my identity and my reality. And so to lose sight of that is to lose sight of my true self and the Kingdom reality from which I was created to live. So this past week He's been romancing me back into that sweet place of intimacy with Him. Filling me with the Bread of Life as my roots grow deeper and deeper in the Living Water. Because what is life if it is not lived in love with the One who is so outrageously in love with us? How can we, as the Bride, live without that hunger, passion, and desperation for our Bridegroom? We were made to love and be loved by our Father, our Creator. And its when we open ourselves to receive that love that we become fully alive. Fully awakened as if raised from the dead. And that is how I want to live. That is who I want to be. A daughter fully alive, captivated and consumed by the love of her Father. 

Here are some pics of Penang, Malaysia, where I am currently living. 

Yeah, it's legit. 

P.S. I am hoping to post more blogs about the amazing things the Lord did last month in Thailand and what's happening this month in Malaysia. We'll see how that goes, people...

That's what the Lord keeps speaking to me as we do ministry this month in Chiang Mai, Thailand, the second biggest city in the country. 

And this month is a little different because its "Manistry" month, meaning all the men are together working on some goat farm in southern Thailand and so the three teams that had men on them have been joined together for the month. So myself and another amazing woman of God, Taryn, are leading our two teams of women plus another one (11 women total including the two of us). Its been incredible so far being with these women, but thats for another blog (hopefully I'll remember to write it).

Anyways, back to ministry. We're working with a YWAM ministry called Love in Action, that reaches out to the women and ladyboys working in the bars and to the kids living in the slums. Its incredible. I'm in love with this ministry. And the Lord is teaching me so much in reaching out and loving these men, women, and children. 

Like the importance of doing small things with great love, as Mother Teresa often talked about. 

Because working in this ministry requires you to surrender everything- expectations, agendas, perceptions- and cling only to His love. For in His love there is hope. There is freedom. There is joy and peace, even when nights are rough and ministry is discouraging. But its when we are rooted in His love, His unfailing, unconditional, extravagant love, that we can let love flow from our hearts freely and without restraint, regardless of whats happening around us. Abiding in His love enables us to love others as He loves us. Recklessly. Outrageously. In the simple and in the extraordinary. Yet we so often overlook the small opportunities, but sometimes its the small, simple acts of love that change people the most. We just have to be faithful and obedient to love however He calls us, even if its in ways we're not used to or dont entirely understand. Because love cant be put in a box, just as God cant be put in a box. So who am I to limit what love looks like to my narrow-minded perceptions or its power to change and transform peoples' lives? Who am I to think one act of love is more significant than another based solely on the physical results when our God, who is Love, is notorious for working in astounding ways unseen? 

He doesnt ask us to analyze love. He simply calls us to love. And love. And love. And love some more. And the possibilities are endless. 

All we have to do is reach out in faith, trusting that love never fails. It didnt fail us on the cross 2,000 years ago and it sure as heck wont fail us now. 

So my friends, love recklessly, as He so recklessly loves you. 

This is a video of the ministry we're working with this month! 

A civil war began in Northern Uganda in 1986 between the government and a rebel group known as the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). This rebel group quickly became notorious for abducting children from their homes and conscripting them into their ranks, forcing them to commit terrible acts of torture and murder, even against their own families. The Pader district, in which our village lies, was the district hardest hit by the war. Our small village, Rackoko, became an internally displaced persons (IDP) camp for around 10,000 people (85% of which had HIV), packed like sardines. These people not only lived in constant fear of rebel attacks, which the rebels did attack a few times, but they also had to survive food shortages and extreme heat. The war hit its peak here between 2002 and 2005, after which the rebels were chased out into neighboring countries, mainly southern Sudan and the Democratic Republic of Congo. So though the rebels have left the North, these people still live in constant fear of their return, especially as their leader, Joseph Kony, is still at large. 

Today only 3,000 people live in this village, but they are people who have endured things many of us in the west can only dream of. Every family here has either had someone killed or abducted during the conflict. No one was left unaffected. Many are still traumatized, especially the youth. People only left the IDP camp three years ago, returning to their homes to find the rebels have taken everything. So they start over with what little they have. Slowly but surely they begin to rebuild. And looking around this place you can see it. People fighting to rebuild. Not only their homes but their lives. People fighting to rebuild their lives on hope, not fear. Yes, this village is poor, but these people have such strength like I've never seen. You can see resilience in the eyes of the widows. You can hear such joy in the orphans laughter. These people are survivors of the brutal atrocities and hardships of war. 

This month I lived life alongside these people. Living as they live. Eating what they eat. And oh how the changed me. But thats for another blog. 

Here are just a few of their stories..

Immanuel is a 78 year old man with one eye and is practically skin and bones, a physical representation of the years of poverty and hardship he's endured. 

He owned a huge piece of property, a little ways from the village center, growing cotton and tobacco, and lived in a nice home complete with tin sheets (which is a big deal in the village because most live in grass huts). And then the rebels came, taking everything, including 68 cattle he owned. He then spent five years on the run, fleeing from the rebels like everyone else. Trying to survive in the bush or in overpopulated displacement camps. His youngest son was abducted by the rebels at only 14 years old. He would be 26 today but they have no idea if he is dead or alive for they havent seen him since that fateful day. It was only 3 years ago that they left the displacement camp that was here in Rococo. Only to return to nothing. And so he started over, trying to resurrect the land that had been ransacked and left untended to. Today he lives in a grass hut, working the fields, and herding 2 cattle he now possesses. Yet this man is a man a faith. A man with a tested and tried strength and refined character. He has endured and overcome. He has been faithful to seek and trust the Lord, and He has carried him through. Despite all that he's been through, all that has happened to him, he is so gentle. His smile, very much toothless, lights up a room and his laugh fills your spirit with life and joy. 

He is a man of whom the world is not worthy. 

Sylvia was orphaned as a child and was brought to the village when she was 7 years old. Mentally and physically disabled all her life, she moves around my crawling on her stomach like a snake. The only work she is really capable of doing is cracking groundnuts, but besides that she is in need of constant care and assistance. During the war she was raped and impregnated by a rebel and today has a beautiful 5 year old girl named Carla. Sylvia does not know her age but her caretaker, Jenn, says she's around 39. This woman is so full of joy and life and has a beautiful smile that just melts your heart. She loves going to church, especially to pray and worship. And she even sang us a song during our visit that just made my spirit swell. 

During our visit the Lord gave me this passage to share with her:

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. I will gather those of you who mourn for the festival, so that you will no longer suffer reproach. Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. At that time I will bring you in, at the time when I gather you together; for I will make you renowned and praised among all the peoples of the earth, when I restore your fortunes before your eyes," says the Lord.     Zephaniah 3:17-20

Patrick is an older married man. Builder by profession. Sixteen children in his household - orphans, extended family, and biological. He came to this village in 1994 and has lived in 3 different homes (we were sitting in the third).

And this is his story:

He was sitting with his children around a fire when the rebels came. He fled with his children when he realized that one of his younger daughters was not with them. So he left the other children to hide in the bush as he went back to look for her. When he arrived at the fire the rebels were there. They had given his daughter to another woman they abducted from a different village. So they took him into the bush to kill him, beating him along the way. As they were walking, one of the rebel officers recognized Patrick as one of his father's friends and was able to spare his life. So instead of killing him, they took him out to the main road and left him there. In the morning his children found him on the side of the road and took him to the hospital to get treatment. They were also able to get his daughter back (got kinda confused when he was explaining that part).

He was also telling us about how the people in his church would gather every night during the war and pray. For this war was very much a spiritual one just as much as it was a physical one. They would pray and cry out to God even as all hell was breaking loose around them. And then, one morning they woke up and the rebels were gone.

This village still bears many physical scars from the war, and many of the people are still traumatized from what they experienced. So much healing is needed in this place. So much love. One of the pastors told us that this village has been the most unreceptive to the Gospel in the region. Much of that is because the people blame God for what happened, and turn to alcohol to deal with their problems. Many of them men spend their days drunk as the woman struggle to earn an income selling what few things they can. 

But the Lord has not given up on these people. He's never left them. He will never stop pursuing them with His sweet love that never fails. The Kingdom is breaking through all the darkness and brokenness that plagues these people. Even the atrocities of war cannot stop heaven from invading. 

Oh, and this woman tried to sell us her monkey one day. Tempting. 

I'm going to be honest with you folks. Uganda was not an easy month for me. There were many factors as to why that was the case. And it would be so easy for me to go on this passionate rant about all the frustrations and discouragements and disappointments. 

But I dont want to. 

Instead I want to share about how good and faithful the Lord was through it all. How He creates such beauty from the messiness of hardship. How He walks alongside me in the valleys, speaking to my heart and fueling my spirit with heavenly revelations, even when I struggle to keep walking as I feel so weak and tired. How His love transforms and redeems even the most discouraging and frustrating of circumstances and situations. 

So, a week or so ago I emailed a dear friend of mine back in the States, word-vomiting this month as I processed the state of my heart. And I thought I'd share some of that email with you, as it was very much the Lord's words flowing from my fingers. I cant take credit for it. 

"Every day is a fight. For joy. Hope. Faith. Trusting that as I walk through this valley my Good Shepherd is leading me to those greener pastures my soul is craving. Fighting for the truth when I get attacked every day that I'm failing as a leader or that I'm totally blowing it as a missionary. Every day He trusts me enough to give me a choice. To choose Him over myself and my flesh that can so easily sit in the frustration and discouragement. To see His goodness and faithfulness in this dry desert. To keep chasing His heart and the beauty of His Kingdom invading even when I am so weak, broken, and exhausted, believing that even in those moments His glory surrounds me and I'm covered in His radiance. Choosing to trust His holy and perfect ways even when they dont match up with mine or what I expect. Like how He's crafted this to be a month of being, not doing. For in simply being He can speak to me  heavenly things, who He is and who I am in Him, without the distraction of doing. Cause by stripping me of doing, I have nothing with which to justify my worth before Him. I'm bare. Vulnerable. Resting only on faith and His sweet whispers of love penetrating the depths of my heart. This month He's refining me. He's testing me. Shaping my character to reflect more of His. Growing my faith and trust in Him in the face of these obstacles and hardships. And so every morning He awakens me with these questions, "Beloved, do you trust Me? Do you trust My love for you?" So I'm learning to see as He sees, what He sees, when He looks at me, others, and the world around me. Learning to see all things through the lens of His love. For there is beauty in the mess of hardship, but I need His help to see it. I need His Spirit to rise up and overcome my flesh. I need to remember that the Race, life even, is not solely about doing but being. For doing springs out of our being. Who we are determines what we do and why we do it. So in order to do things for love and by love, I must first be in love. I must rest in Love, my true identity. And so I'm thankful He loves me this much to teach me this. To give me this season to grow and refine me, tending to my Spirit and shaping my divine identity rooted in Him. That He cares about me so much to prepare and equip me for the holy calling He's so graciously placed on my life. And so I choose to praise Him. To thank Him even when I am drenched in sweat and wanting so badly to just sleep in a bed. I choose to see Him in the places and people around me even when I struggle to find what my purpose is here. To let go of these expectations and pressures I put on myself that are so not from Him, and to take on His yoke that is easy and His burden that is light. To believe that this month is not wasted but in fact has been one of glorious transformation that I'm just beginning to see in myself."

This month the Lord unleashed heaven into my heart. His love has captivated me in such new and refreshing ways that even the hardships could not hinder. Because nothing can stop His Kingdom from invading. My heart. This world. He is a Father so reckless and relentless in His pursuit of His children, the people He loves beyond measure. 

I am so thankful for this month. Even for the many crappy moments. Because He used all of them to teach me. To speak to me. To transform me. And so how can I not rejoice and praise Him for working all things for my good? Sure, I may not see the goodness in the moment, but He is so faithful. His love never fails. 

As I write this a baby leopard kitten has so sweetly come into the office and our contact is freaking out. This cant possibly be a normal kitten. Apparently one of the kids brought it in from the jungle. Yeah, its definitely a leopard. Okay, maybe not. But it seriously looks like it. Its freaky. And our contact is still freaking out. Haha this is hilarious.  

In other news... Greetings from Rackoko, Uganda! Team Throve (thrive & overflow) are livin it up in a really poor, rural village in Northern Uganda. The five of us are are living in a small concrete room (about 14x14), each in our tents, with one window and a door. Our squatty potty is around the back and we even have a little shack thing for bucket showers. Yeah baby! There are also giant spiders and cockroaches that hang out in the bathroom at night which makes the evenings really eventful. We are truly living as the locals do here, which was definitely an adjustment at first, but has been really sweet. We're living in the same style housing as most here (the people here either live in grass huts or single concrete rooms), and eating the same foods they eat (rice, beans, ugali, and other stuff that is quite interesting). There's no running water and electricity is quite unreliable. You never know when its going to be on. Its also hot as heck here and incredibly dusty. The people here, though incredibly poor, are so loving and joyful and full of life. Love them. I feel so humbled and privileged to be here and live life with them. 

Personally, its also really sweet to be here because I've always wanted to come to Northern Uganda. A crazy civil war has been waging on in the north for many years (dont worry Mom, the war left the region about six years ago as the rebels moved into the Congo). I studied the war quite a bit in college, so its so cool to actually be here. To be among people who've survived. And to hear their stories firsthand. Though we've only been here like four days, already the stories I've heard have blown my mind. These people are absolutely amazing. 

So, about our ministry. We're working with Kingdom Pearl Ministries (kingdompearl.org) which targets youth in the village, growing the talents these young people possess while pouring the love of Jesus into their hearts. They have a soccer team, which has been their main ministry, but they also target other kids in the community. We're hoping this month to do some house visits, as well as spend time with the youth, especially those with addictions or who are troubled as a result of the war. I'm excited. And its so good to be around kids again. They're so good for my soul. 

Well, thats kind of the gist of things. I'm stoked for what the Lord has for us here as we get a taste of African village life. Praying for sweet opportunities to love the people here, however He so graciously allows us to. Feel free to pray for me as a new season begins, that the Lord will continue to teach me and grow me as a leader, and also that I can just fall more in love with my Father. I just want to love Him as He loves me. Thats what its all about isnt it? For when we love Him and allow Him to love us, then we can truly love others. And love changes people. For love is the Kingdom of heaven invading this earth through the hearts of man. 

This blog is like a week late. My bad. But just wanted to fill you in on the adventures that took place as the squad met for four days in Jinja, Uganda. 

We stayed at this sweet place right on the Nile River. We slept in our tents but were able to enjoy delicious meals and nice hot showers. Oh the simple luxuries. It was a beautiful place to relax, hang out with one another, and also partake in crazy activities. 

Like bungee jumping and rafting the Nile. Yes, I did both of those. And they were absolutely insane and awesome! Rafting was hilarious as you have 7 girls who have no idea what the heck their doing, screaming and laughing simultaneously. Great times. Everyone should do it. 

yeah, thats real. 

We also had team changes. Due to so many people going home in Rwanda we had to shift some things around. So, let me introduce you to my new team. They are legit!

Cody http://codyodonnell.theworldrace.org/

Frank http://franksawatsky.theworldrace.org/

Katie (from my first team Eucharistia) http://katieway.theworldrace.org/

Rachel http://rachelgust.theworldrace.org/

I'm excited for this new team and the sweet places the Lord will take us. These people have incredible hearts and sweet gifts and I'm so excited to see them walk in it. Please be lifting us up in prayer as we come together as a team. Pray for our ministry. That we may thrive in whatever the Lord so graciously gives us. And that we each can step more and more into who God is calling us to be, as we fall more and more in love with Him. Thanks peeps!

Hope you all are doing so so well!